


Three Weddings and a (Metaphorical) Funeral

by KintyButters25 (orphan_account)



Category: Addams Family - Fandom, Beetlejuice - Fandom
Genre: Baby's First Fanfic, Beetlejuice - Freeform, But not more OOC than Wednesday was in the Addams Family Musical, CW: Marriage, CW: Mommy issues, CW: Reckless disregard of the fourth wall, Divorce, F/F, Goth Lesbians, I don't know, I take this very seriously, LGBT, Lesbianism, Marriage, Mental Health Issues, My First Fanfic, OOOOOOOOOOOOH!, Post-Canon, Primarily based off of musical beetlejuice with a little bit of the cartoon thrown in, Probably ooc, Redemption, Yikes, a little ooc, all of these chapters are subject to change even after publication, but not who you're thinking, don't worry the lesbians come out alright in the end, is this a fix-it?, it's a work in progress so I'm going to be editing them as I go, just kidding, please be kind to me, shots fired, the lesbians always turn out alright, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22520593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/KintyButters25
Summary: Wednesday Addams and Lydia Deetz are a match made in heaven. Or Hell. The jury is still out on that one.Regardless, when Lydia returns home to announce the engagement to the whole family, no one is particularly surprised. The real shock comes when a certain familiar face rears its ugly head at the family dinner.With the the waining patience of reluctant house hosts and the forces of supernatural bureaucracy up against them, can Lydia and Wednesday hold things togeather? Will the otherworldly entities at play let the Deetz-Maitland-Addams family finally have a successful wedding? Will I actually ever finish this fanfic, or will I give up and just delete it? Only time will tell.
Relationships: Charles Deetz/Delia Deetz, Gomez Addams/Morticia Addams, Wednesday Addams/Lydia Deetz
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	Three Weddings and a (Metaphorical) Funeral

Lydia Deetz was wearing white.

That wasn't something particularly unusual in itself, but the sheer volume of white was a bit out of her usual comfort zone. It was a calculated decision though, you see? She had never really stepped out of the black dresses and makeup, and for that she was interpreted as insane. So maybe dressing in all white would indicate a clearer state of mind and a thoughtfulness about the news she and Wednesday were about to spring on the whole family.

On the other hand, she did look a lot like Courtney Love right now. That never exactly screamed 'I am completely mentally sound, and am someone who should be believed and listened too.'

To her left was the afformentioned Wednesday, who had apparently put less thought into what she was going to be wearing tonight. Under her left arm was Homer, and she held a medium-sized sac with her right. Like Orpheus leading Eurydice out of hell, Lydia kept feeling tempted to glance at Wednesday just to make sure she was still there. Unlike Orpheus, Lydia trailed slightly behind Wednesday as they started up the path to her house. They hadn't driven down to Connecticut. Instead, they had taken the train from Grand Central to Hartford and hitchhiked the rest of the way. Charles and Delia had offered to drive them from the station, but Wednesday had insisted they do it the old fashioned way. Armed with her lucky machete, there wasn't much to worry about in the way of serial killers. Charles had stayed silent, agreed, and wished them luck over the phone in a span of 10 seconds. A new record. Wednesday was good at leaving Charles at a loss for words in a short time; Lydia liked that about her.

Once they had reached the top step of her porch, Lydia finally turned to Wednesday.

"So I know this isn't the first time you've met dad or Delia in person," she said " and I know you're used to the strange and unusual."

"I am strange and unusual," Wednesday retorted.

"Right I know that," Lydia reached for the other girl's hands and held them firmly. They were cold. "But they-" She nodded at the house "aren't necessarily."

"Lydia, I'm surprised at you." Wednesday said not actually sounding very surprised at all "since when did you care about the sensitivities of your parents?"

"It's not them I'm worried about."

There was a pregnant pause between them. Wednesday half expected Lydia to continue speaking, while Lydia waited for approval. When Lydia let go of Wednesday's hands, she took it as an invitation.

"They're ghosts, Lydia." She finally said "you shouldn't be worried about their delicate constitution seeing as how they don't exactly have any."

"Well, you don't know them." Lydia sighed.

"It's going to be fine." Wednesday took Lydia's hand again "I promise no one will be fatally poisoned; I even left my chemistry set at home. That's how much I love you."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry If I've been a bit more straight-edged than usual; it's not you who I'm freaking out the most about right now."

Wednesday nodded thoughtfully. Lydia squeezed her hand.

"If I can just be sure that things don't get too... intense on your end of things then I can focus on the real threat."

Trying to look as receptive as possible, which wasn't very much for the average person but was very noticeable for Wednesday, she nodded again. Lydia let go of Wednesday's hand for a final time and knocked on the door. It was more out of courtesy than anything, and stepped aside as she opened the door.

"After you!" Lydia said with as much gusto as she could manage. As Wednesday stepped inside, the sac dragged behind her. It shuttered inhumanly as it hit the doorframe, but Wednesday silenced it with a swift kick.

* * *

"Hello?"

The living room was pitch black aside from a faint light shining in from the kitchen. It smelt like sulfur.

"Talk about a warm welcome." Wednesday said

"I'm sorry, I don't know where they are."

"I mean it; it's great." She continued without a hint of sarcasm. Or maybe she was being sarcastic. It was hard to tell with that girl. "I already feel at home."

Lydia reached towards the light-switch but found that the power was completely off. That was weird, especially considering the lights were on in the kitchen. Maybe they were re-modeling again? The furniture _was_ covered with white sheets and the idea didn't seem too far off all things considered. Even so, where was everyone? She'd half expected to find a family reunion in the middle of their living room.

"Barbra? Adam? Guys?" It wasn't like they could have stepped out to pick up groceries; where else could they be? "Am I going to have to perform a seance or something just so I can introduce you to my girlfriend?"

"I have candles," Wednesday added.

It hit her then, that the faint light emanating from the kitchen was not the usual color. Instead of a pale yellow, the light was turning a harsher deep orange. Her initial thought was of panic.

"2.0s? Is that you guys in there?"

After receiving no response, Lydia took the reasonable course of action and made her way towards the source of the light. Dutifully, although far less paranoid, Wednesday followed. As she got closer the light warped into a more sickly hue. Lydia finally set foot in the kitchen and the lights instantly went dark.

"Boo!" A voice shouted from on top of the fridge. Shouted was actually an over-statement.

Without missing a beat, Lydia flicked the light on. This time it actually worked. Standing in front of the two girls were the aforementioned Maitlands. Standing on the kitchen table with her arms stretched above her was Barbra. Her fingers were fiddling with the light, which switched on and off seemingly at her own behest.

"OOOOOooooooOOOOoooooOOOOo!" Barbra moaned, all pretenses of seriousness leaving her voice.

On the floor in front of her was Adam, who had apparently fallen from somewhere. Lydia had no idea.

"Are these the ghosts?" Wednesday asked, a bit taken aback.

"Yup." Lydia said.

"Well, now I know what you were worried about."

Barbra descended from the table, and Adam floated back onto his feet in unison. The two of them stood expectantly, arm-in-arm with big stupid grins on their faces.

"Did we get you that time?" Adam asked.

" _You_ didn't!" Lydia huffed "I was worried it _wasn't_ you!" With that she grabbed Adam and Barbra and hugged them both.

"Well, who else could it be?" Barbra asked.

"That's not important!" Lydia said "I liked the added effect of the smell, though. That's new. How did you make that happen?"

Barbra and Adam glanced at each other.

"That one is actually on Delia." Adam explained "There was an unfortunate dinner-preparation related accident. They're out looking for a replacement."

"Nice." Said Lydia, finally backing away, and gesturing towards Wednesday. "Guys, this is my girlfriend. Her name is Wednesday. Feel free to use her as your new guinea pig; she loves being terrorized."

"I _really_ do." Wednesday said. "You must be Barbra and Adam respectively."

"In the flesh." Adam said. "Or... _Well_..."

* * *

After the Homer and the luggage had been set up in Lydia's old room. Barbra took the sheets off the furniture to share the changes they'd made while Lydia had been gone. There was a lot of Rococo influence, but there were some liberties made at the behest of Delia. Barbra walked Lydia through the halls with impressionist paintings of genitals and brand logos on either side and she explained to her the complicated process of agreeing on what was and wasn't appropriate for the home.

"It seems like Delia came out on top in that arrangement." Lydia said. Barbra ignored her.

Downstairs, Adam lightly grilled Wednesday on the usual subjects. Each brief response drawn out of her elicited regret from Adam. There was no need to get her too elaborate on anything. After resigning himself to the idea of having a slightly shorter and more sociopathic version of Lydia under their roof, they both sat quietly for the next thirty minuets.

The only room of the house that hadn't been a victim of Delia's 'creative essence' was Wednesday's own room. "That," Barbra assured "will not be re-arranged under any circumstances without the permission of its main occupant."

The sentiment was nice, but Wednesday didn't think it was very accurate to refer to her as the rooms main occupant anymore. That honor would go to Percy; Lydia's black kitten. They had gotten him two years after they'd first moved in, and he was looking decidedly un-kitten-ie these days. He would always be Lydia's kitten. It was awfully sentimental for Lydia, but it was true.

No one would notice the fact she was wearing all white until Delia walked in through the front door. She was as energetic as ever, but Lydia could tell she had been crying based off the smudged makeup. Using her Sherlock Holmes level of deduction skills, she guessed it probably had something to do with the sulfuric stench that was even now lingering in the air.

"Lydia, you look lovely!" She said, going in for a hug. Lydia couldn't quite remember when they were suddenly on a hugging basis, but that was how things were now she supposed. She also didn't feel like justifying herself quite yet. She'd wait until after dinner.

Charles was standing in the doorway, with a medium-sized flat box in his hands.

"How was the trip over?" He asked.

"I didn't have to use the knife," Wednesday said. "Unfortunately."

"Right." Charles said. His voice shook a little bit. "You're from NYC. Do you like pizza?"

"Well, I'm a mentally ill woman living in a haunted house in Central Park. Pizza does not seem like the type of thing I'd eat. However, I am also a New Yorker. Simply by that connection alone I am legally and culturally required to say that, yes, Mr. Deetz, I do like pizza."

He didn't respond.

"Let me help you with that. I have some death cap mushrooms but I promise I won't put them on anyone else's food unless they ask. Honest."

* * *

When they had set the table and everyone had been seated, Lydia stood up and waited for everyone's eyes to set on her.

"I have an announcement to make." She spoke on shaky breath.

No one commented, and Lydia glanced around at everyone.

"So Wednesday and I have been together for two and a half years now and--."

"You're getting married!" Delia shrieked with joy. She brought her hands to her mouth for half a second and then stood up to meet Lydia and squeezed her.

"Well--" Lydia started.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry if I was presumptuous? The white dress and everything- I thought maybe--."

"No, you're right" Lydia responded and braced herself for the reaction. She was slightly relieved when she was met with polite applause.

Lydia couldn't much make out the specificities of what anyone else at the table was saying. Her vision was a blur of faces leaning in to hug her or congratulate her while others spoke amongst each other. It felt almost as if there were more people there than just the six of them, everything was happening that fast. "Does Wednesday's family know?" "When are you holding the ceremony?" "Is it going to be more traditional, or modern?" All of them lost on Wednesday as she struggled to keep afloat in a sea of affection and approval. It wasn't over yet though. She couldn't put it off for much longer, time to face the preverbal music. She could only hope the real news of the evening would be received a fraction as well as this would be. This was to be expected; even if the Maitlands had only just met Wednesday in person, marriage felt like the most natural outcome. No, the real shocker was going to be hard for everyone to swallow.

Lydia took a deep breath.

"At the wedding, I'm inviting Beetlejuice."

The energy of the room dropped.

"Who?" Charles asked, incredulously.

"Beetlejuice." Lydia said again.

"I think we heard you wrong dear?" Barbra said, also in disbelief.

"Are you playing a joke on us?" Charles continued. "This must be a prank."

"It's not very funny if it is." Adam added.

"Lydia, just to be clear," Barbra continued "we're taking this very seriously. You know what happened last time we had him here. We take It very seriously when you tell us that you're actually inviting--."

" _Beetlejuice._ " Lydia finished mindlessly. "Wait- No! Fuck!"

It was too late. As mist pooled in from the floorboards, Lydia knew she had royally screwed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Showtime.


End file.
